My Path – Part 2

I cleaned up my room. Yes. I did so. I feel so much more confident and I feel like I have a clear mind.

That needed to be done. Cleaning up my room, planning my meals, waking up time, routine. I needed to do this stuff. I suggest you do the same – especially when you feel like you’re lost and your life is a mess.

But it is just the beginning of a journey. 

Once I’ve cleaned up my room – literally and metaphorically speaking – it’s time to go for the next level.

Who Do You Want to Become?

I was deeply thinking about who I admire. Because it is the people we admire that we soon imitate. We try to be like them. Something interesting and attractive is about these people. I’ve come up with a couple of names and tried to find commonality. It was obvious.

They are great, confident leaders. Leadership is something I’ve always had in mind. I have used it since I was a child. But even though I had predispositions for that, I didn’t do anything with it. And the skill that is not learned vanishes.

I imagined how the leader acts. He is confident with every decision he makes. He can communicate effectively, he’s brave, he’s charismatic. He makes people follow him voluntarily.

And that’s what I want to develop in myself. 

That’s why I’ve done research and intended to do everything in my power to follow that path – to obtain the personality of a leader.

I found these tips on becoming a leader and integrated them into my life.

Becoming the Greatest Confident Leader

I will write all of the characteristics I would like to obtain in the first person. That way I am getting closer to the person I want to be. I am beginning to think of myself as a person who acts and thinks in a certain way.

I Look at The Way I Move. 

I focus on every move I make. Every step. It is crucial. Because by expressing my inner confidence, not only make me look like a confident person, I am feeling empowered as well.

As Jordan Peterson writes in his book “12 rules for life” – by standing straight with your shoulders back you release serotonin which makes you feel more competent and confident. Isn’t it awesome?

So, I am walking in a confident way, feeling the power in my body.

I Look at the Way I Speak.

I speak clearly at the right speed.

While talking too slow we might seem like we lack confidence, talking too fast might feel like we’re out of control. The right balance is the key. By speaking clearly, like a confident person, we give power to our words. And communication is the key to solving many problems, inspiring and changing the lives of others.

I Take Action, Lead People, and Make Decisions. Non-stop.

Too often I was a passive person. With regards to work, relationships, friendships. I didn’t use all of the potential when it comes to leading. Now, things have changed. I’ve realized how powerful decision making is. What’s more, people are dying to find somebody to make decisions for them, to lead, to solve their problems. 

Taking responsibility for tough decisions is needed in the world. People look for it. That’s why it’s best to act like a leader and do it. What’s more, it also gives you power over your life – you are making most of the decisions and you can adjust.

I Prepare for Everything.

There were times when I ran through the day without any plan. I thought that if I just stick to doing things it would be enough. 

I was so deeply wrong. 

Every change in a routine schedule needs to be verified. And every time I want to do something special I need to double-check that. I need to try to hit my idea with everything I’ve got and try to find weak spots. 

Examples: I want to go to the new coffee shop after work instead of working from home. While it might be a good idea – it also has a lot of threads. I need to think about everything that might go wrong and try to stop these weak spots before they happen. I try to come up with a solution to those threads. that way I increase the chance of me screening up dramatically. 

For example, the thread could be noise. In that case, I can take my earphones with me.

I am going to look at my schedule ahead of time and think about every disaster that might come for a couple of minutes. And then, I will come up with an idea on how to stop it from happening – and if it happens – things I can do to stop it from spreading.

Seems like a good idea to me.

I Always See Hope. Even in the Darkest Moments.

It’s something I need to really work on. Not only me. In fact, every person that wants to be a leader. Leaders are most needed in crisis times. And in these times it’s hardest to prove your competence as a leader. That’s why I need to be a light for other people. To do so – firstly I need to find hope myself. In every situation. I can look down inside of me and find strength. 

I can use the method of David Goggins. It’s called a Cookie Jar. 

Cookie Jar method.

That’s a thought from David Goggins, a guy who completed over 60 ultramarathons. 

We too easily forget how tough we are during hard moments. That’s why you should prepare for it in advance.

Create a Cookie Jar. 

Sit down, take a paper and a pen or note-taking app, and start writing down all of the toughest moments you faced and describe how you eventually got through them all.

In tough moments look at this note and contemplate at least one of those moments – just as you grab a cookie from a jar to eat it. That will give you the strength to endure difficult moments.

It doesn’t have to be running ultramarathons. It can be used when you feel like you don’t have the energy to work on your side-gig or to learn new skills when you want to change a job, during difficult conversations with people close to you or with your boss – or during whatever tough moment that comes to your mind.

Remember about cookie jar and reach in for your special cookies on a regular basis and you should see great results.

I Come up With Strategies on How to Solve Problems and How to Achieve Goals.

It’s easy to go through days mindlessly. And to be drawn down by daily problems. A good leader will look at problems from a higher perspective. He always has a plan to achieve his goals. 

And that’s how I am willing to act. I will set 3-month goals and I will try to hit them. Moreover, I will come up with tactics on how to overcome obstacles and implement daily steps. 

I Act. Instead of Just Saying

Actions speak louder than words. 

Be careful what you’re saying. When you say you will do something – do it. Keep your word. That’s the characteristic of a reliable person. What’s more important – be precise in your speech. That’s the way you’ll communicate effectively. When you keep your word, every time – for a long time, people will know they can trust you – and your word. 

That’s a very important characteristic – the one I am willing to master.

I Adopt the Mindset That Wherever I Show up, This Space is Mine. 

I have the same right for Success as everybody else. To lead. To achieve the results I’m after.

It applies to every area. In your hobby, in your job, in your side-gig. You have the same right to success as everybody else. Don’t be weak then. Try your best. Decide that you are going to get after it. And then go for it. Without any hesitation. The space you inhabit is yours. 

Be assertive.

Now, go out and reach your hand for success.

I Take Responsibility for Every Small Thing.

Not everything is your fault. But it’s always your responsibility to make things better. That’s how the greatest leaders act. They take responsibility for everything. 

You’re a chef and your restaurant served a bad meal?  Take responsibility.

You’re a boss and your employee is inefficient? Take responsibility, give him correct training

In every area – relationships, finances, business, family, health – I bet there’s at least 1 thing you could do to make things better. regardless of how others react, whether or not they do anything well, whether you have good genetics. Set all external factors aside.

You can do SOMETHING. And you know it. 

I can do SOMETHING. Always. And I will.

Take responsibility for every small thing in your life, and then you will automatically take things seriously, Every time.

I Make a Stand on What I believe. 

Decide. Choose. Have a vision of what you want to accomplish. Be Clear of what you stand for and what you don’t stand for.

People with their rules are respected – both by friends and enemies. 

So know what are your core values. And stand for them. In every situation.

I Communicate Effectively What I Believe, What I Do.

Communication is the key to influence. If you want somebody to follow you, you need to clearly explain what you are doing, what your values are, and why it is a good idea to follow you, where your actions will lead you, and the people who will follow you. 

I Am Worth Following – Morality and Capability

You need to be a good human being. But that’s not all. you need to be competent as well. People need to see you can do things. That you can take care of any situation. That you’re a capable person. 

Being a moral person will not help you conquer problems. 

On the other hand, being competent will not assure people you will not betray or use them for your own plans. 

That being said you need to be capable and moral if you want to lead effectively.

I am the lone wolf

You must be OK with people disagreeing with you. Even talking trash about you. You need to be beyond that.

You have chosen your own path. Not everybody needs to understand it the moment they hear about it. They just need more time. And you need to stick to your own values and your path.

As a leader you also need to be willing to make unpopular decisions. That means people will not always be fans of it. You need to be therefore strong – to survive these moments.

How to achieve all of that?

That’s a good question. I will implement the following strategy. 

First, remind myself everyday of who I want to be and how this person acts, based on characteristics I have just described.

Then, I will rate all of these characteristics from 1-10 on how good I am at them. And then I will focus on the ones that I’m the worst at. 

What’s the tactics on how to improve effectively on these characteristics on a daily basis?

That is yet to be planned and strategized on the next level, next step of this journey.

What I’ve learned

  • It’s crucial to be deadly specific on WHO you want to be in life, not what everybody else tells you what success is or how you should behave
  • There are many characteristics that I deeply admire that I have somehow skipped unconsciously
  • Listing characteristics of a people you admire gives me meaning in going through daily activities while I am thinking how the person I admire acts – and therefore how I want to act and how I want to be perceived. 

How can you use it in your own life?

Think about who YOU admire. Not what somebody tells you should be or how you should behave. Think about examples in life as well as in movies. I’m sure you’ll find somebody who you would like to be like.

You can also contemplate if your ideal person has the same characteristics as the ones listed above. You can copy whatever you like. But remember – that’s your choice, so choose for yourself WHO do you want to be.

And then, follow your unique path.

Read about next step of my journey here.

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